LALARRY

The Only Thing I Will Write About the Oscars

I do find it hilarious that right wing bloggers, and tv and talk radio talking heads are blathering on about how the Oscar nominees for artistic achievement are out of touch with mainstream American values, especially Brokeback Mountain with its decadent agenda.

Instead these folks argue films such as 40 Year Old Virgin and Wedding Crashers should have been nominated for artistic achievement since their mega box office performance shows they are in touch with mainstream America. They may be right. The films highlight casual sex, vulgarity, binge drinking, deception and dishonesty, adolescent humor and treat women as sex objects who should be plied with drink and lies in order for guys to "score " within an hour or two of meeting them. Wholesome entertainment. 'Nuff said.

As for Hollywood being out of touch with America, this insipid show draws an audience of 50 million, watching an endless 4 hour bore.  Right now ,8 hours before the thing, you can already catch exciting "pre Oscar " coverage on cable, I guess it's exclusive footage of the stars trying to shake off their hangover from last night's televised parties. Don't remember any all day programming on July 4, Memorial Day and Veteran's Day getting this much attention. So somebody out there must be In Touch ( that celebrity tab mag btw has circulation  of 1.5 million) with Hollywood.

I may catch the first 10 mins just to see how JS does.

Forget About All The "Controversy " Over Munich...

....because the film was just so damn terrible

cardboard characters

terrible dialogue

no thrill to the "thriller", every "surprise plot twist" was totally predictable

terrible acting

no action "action" scenes

WAYYYY too long

and the obligatory schmaltzy John Williams score

and that scene at the end intercutting the hero's sexual climax with the "climax" of the Munich massacre : PLLLEASE

Momma's little speech about "my big family was killed in the Holocaust and that's why we have an Israel" was another bit that would have had the eyes rolling in the audience ("here we go again") at a Jewish High School's play.

And every word that came out of someone in the Israeli military sounded like the dialogue in some bad play I remember a group of us writing from Zionist summer camp. However, that dialogue never made the actual camp production because the Israeli counsellors changed the it; "nobody really talks like that" they told us. But yes, the play was still bad.

Spielberg has shown again he has the subtlety of a 500 pound anvil, the political sophistication of a fifth grader and enough schmaltz to fill every Jewish kitchen for millenia And apparently he has so much clout that nobody has the guts to tell him that his movies are at least 30 minutes too long.

Definitely the worst thing Tony Kushner ever wrote. Tony, stick to your plays. I enjoy them.

As for the (i guess it's called conservative) critique about the moral equivalency, endless cycle of violence yada yada --I totally agree.

And as a Zionist I have a BIG problem with his portrayal of an Israeli that can only find a "home" in Brooklyn after serving his country bravely.

And Steven thinks he was making a positive film about Israel and a homage to those killed in Munich ?

Far from being on the 10 best films of 2005, it definitely makes my 10 worst list.

Last week I rented Mr and Mrs. Smith and liked it much more. The action scenes were MUCH better, the characters were more interesting, the dialogue was better written, and as I recall the plot had more surprises. And Angelina ain't bad to look at . And it didn't drag out for 3 hours.

As a matter of fact this was the worst movie I've seen since...

......War of the Worlds which I rented a few weeks ago. At least for that one I had access to a fast forward button so I didn't have to suffer the full assault of the interminable barely watchable movie.

I always thought Spielberg was the most overrated director around. I don't think he has made anything good since E T.

save yourself money (and time) wait for the dvd when you can have that fast forward button in your hand

believe me it's better than checking your watch every 10 minutes for the last 2 hours of the movie

if you haven't seen it yet go see Sarah Silverman's Jesus is Magic instead

she has more to say and gets it done in less than 2 hours

See This Movie!

NOT with your children (unless maybe if  they are 21+) and NOT if you are easily offended

Sarah Silverman: Jesus is Magic

Must See Movie

Millions, recently released on DVD

see it with your children

I Want to Arrange for Tom Cruise...

He of the "there is no such thing as a chemical imbalance " and I know psychiatry"

a tour of the UCLA medical center.

It would include:

The Brain Research Center where hundreds of researchers work on mapping the brain and have done scans (they can show him the pictures) showing the differences in the brains between those with and without behavioral disorders like schizophrenia.

The inpatient clinic where patients suffering from depression and other ailments are successfully treated with medications along with therapy.

The outpatient clinic where people with behavioral disorders are helped to maintain their daily routine through a combination of medication and counselling. He could also stop in on the researchers that conduct clinical trials of psychiatric drugs. They could show him their statistical evidence of the efficacy of many of these drugs.

Hey, Tom I'll even pay for lunch for you and Katie.

I have concluded Scientology is ALOT more dangerous than the Kabbalah Centre

Not Only Didn't She Win The Oscar

JERUSALEM (AFP) - Hollywood star Natalie Portman, nominated for a best supporting actress award at this month's Academy Awards, stirred a scandal over a kissing scene by Jerusalem's Wailing Wall -- the most sacred spot in Judaism, the top-selling Israeli daily said.

The Israeli-born 23-year-old, who may be awarded a golden statuette next Sunday for her role in the film "Closer," was on location in Jerusalem for the shooting of "Free Zone", an Israeli-directed film, Yediot Aharonot reported.

But a kissing scene with co-actor Aki Avni in a car park next to the Wailing Wall infuriated religious Jews praying at the site, who slammed the smooch as an act of "lewdness" before chasing the pair and the crew off the set.

The paper said director Amos Gitai had not asked for permission prior to shooting the scene, but reached a compromise after the incident that he and his crew could come back to the site at a later hour.

I didn't see Closer, but she was great in Garden State (good flick, it's out in dvd)

Two MOTs Are Up for Best Supporting Actress Oscar

You are probably aware that best supporting actress oscar nomineee Natalie Portman, born in Israel and currently studying at the Hebew University in Jerusalem is a MOT.

But did you know this about Sophie Okonedo, who plays Don Cheadle's wife in Hotel Rwanda ? :

Ms. Okonedo, now a budding celebrity, has been embraced here as the new face of multicultural modern Britain: her mother is white and Jewish, and her estranged father, who left the family when she was 5, is Nigerian. She grew up in the projects, inside a notoriously rowdy and dangerous council estate (as the projects here are called). NYT

I may even watch the interminable Oscar telecast.. on second thought I don't think so.

I live a couple blocks from the Four Seasons Hotel where many Oscar types stay this weekend. People line up across the street from the hotel  behind police barricades to get a wisp of a glance of the stars as they step into their limos en route to the Oscars. Talk about people needing to get a life. It's not hard to figure out how we got the Governator in Sacramento.

Worth Staying Home For

Cancel those plans to go out to the movies Sat. night. IMO there's not much worthwhile in the theaters anyway. Certainly not anything to compare with Stanley Kubrick's classic Lolita showing 7:30 Saturday night on Turner Classic Movie Channel. If you're looking for more information on the movie look here. I wouldn't recommend doing a google or other web search for "Lolita". You'll wind up with some pretty unsavory stuff. Try Lolita+movie instead.

There's a 1997 remake directed by Andre Lyne (Fatal Attraction) with Jeremy Irons and Dominique Swain which was quite controversial. Obviously the topic is still a hot one to handle even 40+ yrs after the Nabokov book. I never saw that one, it got mixed but mostly negative reviews. That's not surprising given the iconic status of the book and the Kubrick film It is out on video, apparently in the version shown in Europe. it was cut for US theaters.

Enjoyable Israeli Movie : Bonjour Monsieur Shlomi

I enjoyed this Israeli movie I rented from the local Blockbuster. The store is in a heavily Jewish area so I'm not sure they will stock it everywhere, but it is available from Netflix.

The film focuses on Shlomi,the teenager that holds together his dysfunctional family while he is pretty much ignored. He has an unusual skill in cooking, and in the course of the film discovers he has other extraordinary talents. And yes he also finds his soulmate. It may sound a little trite but I enjoyed it, although I tend to enjoy most Israeli movies just because I like to follow them in the original language and soak up the Israeli millieu. If it matters to you, the NYT hated it , but most other reviews I checked were quite a bit more generous.

Can Ratso Rizzo, Funny Girl, and Raging Bull Combine with Greg Focker to Make a Good Movie ?

                          The NYT  answers with a resounding NO !

But you know you'll probably go see it anyway...On Christmas, (hopefully after Shabbat)  before that (hopefully kosher) Chinese dinner.

But you better buy your tickets online or on the phone beforehand. And be sure to make those dinner reservations as well. You won't be alone in your plans.